i am both happy and sad; and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
→ Rampant Intellectualism As A Coping Mechanism
FUCK
I AM SO GODDAMN FUCKING SICK OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING.
I’m sick of fake ass bitches who lie to your face.
Fuming about a boyfriend who doesn’t even like my body. And would rather look at other girls. Because I’m fucking fat and disgusting.
Sick of barfing every time i try to go somewhere for more than 12 hrs.
Sick of choking the second I sing in front of my choir when I know I used to be able to sing beautifully in front of an audience.
Sick of feeling second best to everyone all the time.
Sick of being mediocre at everything I do.
Sick of people who put words in my mouth.
Sick of the betrayal, the invasion of my privacy, and the judgements.
Sick of my bestfriends asshole friend who won’t give me the time of day.
Sick of people who have no reason for disliking me so they act like we’re friends to my face.
thisclose to fucking going postal on everyone’s ass.
contradictions.
so you don’t want to look at me, but you want to look at random sluts on some random page.
you turn down my offers, but you say you can’t function without looking.
You say you want me to trust you, but you can’t even make a request that would prove the same level of trust?
You want to reciprocate, but you admit you don’t like doing it.
You wouldn’t want me to do what you’re doing, but somehow your own shyness makes that okay.
Does that mean if I’m too shy to let you do it again, I should find some random stranger?
yeah, fuck you right now. just a little.
for those of you who try to tell me weed is bad for me…
You’re right in that it’s not for everyone, but it is for me. Weed has never directly killed someone; there are potential risk factors but in my case the benefits outweigh the risks. I would sooner die from the sleep deprivation, nausea, inability to eat, panic attacks, depression, & body pain from previous sports injuries that would flare up without weed then I would from I weed related issue/health complication. Honestly, Ben Harper said it best…
“if you don’t like my fire, then don’t come around. ‘cause i’m gonna burn one down.”
I am not so blinded by my experience with marijuana as to think it’s flawless, but I will defend the hell out of it before I jump to the defence of any western or over-the-counter medicine. I don’t even use tylenol/advil anymore, and I’m going off my anti-depressants come October. So really, I don’t give a fuck what you think about it, because it’s no ones life but mine. Weed might be bad for you, but it sure as hell has been anything but bad for me. So seriously…Shut up.
no no no
no i cannot take this. not you too. why cant things just be normal? who fucking cares if i’m still depressed…you think just because they pump drugs for it into my body i’m magically better? I vent here because it’s safe, it’s anonymous, and i can be as self-deprecating and angry as I feel inside but no one can put an identity on me to judge me. I can’t talk to you always because my emotions “scare you.” I can’t talk to her because she was fake. I can’t talk to her because she ultimately sides with her boyfriend in the end. I can’t talk to my therapist because she’s gone, so who the fuck can i talk to?
tell me.
it’s no wonder i want to die.
You’ve Got a lot of Nerve to Say You Are My Friend
You’re a fucking two faced bitch and I’m sorry I ever wasted my time defending you.
